Hugging a Fan

Foolproofing My Life

Do you have any consistently-difficult relationships in your life? You know, a relationship that just never seems to be "right" no matter how hard you try? The more you try to help and the closer you draw to them, the more you get hurt? This person (or people) keeps doing the same thing over and over again, time after time, year after year, and no matter how much you try to get them to see it or "help" them get it right, they just keep at it, and you keep getting hurt?

Well, you may have a fool in your life. Shoot - you may be the fool in your OWN life!

Over the last year, God put me in several relationships like this. I never knew why these relationships were difficult. They were always awkward at best, and downright toxic at their worst. They just seemed like constant work - and the harder I worked at helping or drawing close to them, the more I got hurt. Didn't matter what I did for them or how I approached the problem - I always ended up getting hurt, feeling like I was hit by a train out of nowhere - then made to feel like I was the one at fault - in spite of there being no impression by God that I had indeed done something wrong.

Things always seemed to get turned around on me. In "Christian love", I would address certain areas of weakness with these individuals, find myself covering for it (to "help" them of course), and then find myself on the defensive getting attacked for bringing it up. I was paying the price for their decisions and didn't know it, all the while thinking I was helping them. It was like this huge, stronghold of power that could not be confronted - and must be defended at all costs - striking down anything that would threaten it.

Several weeks ago a dangerous situation popped up where one of these difficult relationship reared its ugly head once again, and I reached out to a friend for advice on dealing with it. He said "It sounds like you're dealing with a fool", and recommended reading a book called "Foolproofing Your Life".

Well, he was right on. After reading that book, several of those relationships made sense. It was the first time I'd ever thought of another person really being a fool. I was dealing with foolishness. Foolishness is seen when a person repeats a pattern of behavior for a long time that won't change, and when confronted defends it. They are not correctable. Foolishness is especially hard to accept when the role this person has in your life is supposed to be one of authority or have respect.

The book likens drawing close to help a genuine fool to hugging a fan. The closer you embrace the fan, the more the fan blades chop you up and hurt you. Hugging a fan is foolishness in itself!

When fools are confronted about their foolish behavior, they refuse to address it and defend it, continuing the problem. They often turn it around on you and make you feel bad for bringing it up. In the fool's worldview, they are right - you are wrong - and anything that threatens them must be destroyed. They shut their ears, and the fan blades whine higher and higher - chopping you up. You become the problem because you are fundamentally threatening their position in their own life. The fan blades tear at you. Their destructive behavior continues on and on, time after time, year after year, and the fool goes on about their life none the wiser - failing to see the carnage about them. Eventually, the fan is left spinning away on its own power, with those who drew near left chopped up and wounded.

How I wish I'd read this many years ago! It would have saved me much heartache! It also would have revealed the foolishness in my own life in how I was attempting to "help" these fools!

For whatever reason, God saw fit to bring several of these relationships into my own life over the past year. At the time I was in the mix of those relationships, I thought I was there to help them. My role was to somehow serve them, save them and be strong where they were weak. If I could just get them to see what it is everyone else outside of them sees, they would adjust their behavior and have a joyful life and see success.

But I was so wrong in trying to help in this manner. The problem with this type of foolishness is that it ends up ensnaring and controlling you. You end up covering for it. Instead of the fool paying the consequences for their actions, you end up stepping in the way and paying the price. You then enable the fool to continue their behavior since it doesn't affect them.

The fool keeps you locked in their control by turning the situation around on you. Subtle manipulation and deception come into play, orchestrated by the fool. A little spin here, a little spin there - a forgotten conversation here, a play on words there, a mischaracterization of this there. Over time the fool gets very good at this because this is how they must prop up their world. The truth threatens them. Since they are number one in their life (their agenda, their desires), nothing must threaten them, or they will no longer be number one. You are really just a tool to them in accomplishing their ends.

I didn't realize that it was foolishness to try and help a hardened fool, that somehow it was my responsibility to see the foolishness changed. No! It was God's! God is the only one who can change a fool like that. By drawing near and giving help to the fool, you end up enabling the fool. The answer is to put up boundaries and limit exposure to the fool. The fool isn't for you - they are for themselves - and they will use you up and suck you dry to feed their foolishness.

So, I'm much wiser now that I have learned to identify foolishness. I'm much wiser for learning to deal with it the right way. I'm much happier now that I've learned it is ok to separate from fools for your own protection. I've learned it is not my responsibility to change a fool's heart, but God's.

I'm so thankful that God allowed me to see my naivity in dealing with fools!

Earth Week?

Genesis 1
And God blessed them. And God said to them,^S)">(S) "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth." ²⁹And God said, "Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit.^T)">(T) You shall have them for food. ³⁰And^U)">(U) to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food." And it was so. ³¹^V)">(V) And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.

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Today is Earth Day. God blessed us by giving us dominion over this planet on which we live, and all living things. We are charged with caring for it. For tending this fallen garden. For redeeming what once was.

You'll notice God did this in His perfectly-designed plan for man. Not after the fall when sin had entered and corrupted things. Beforehand. That means it is a good and perfect thing to do, tending this spherical garden that orbits our sun.

I believe this is something Christians, especially more conservative and traditional ones, have forsaken. Yes, we love the earth. Yes, we acknowledge that we are in charge of it. But our actions show little care for it.

What usually happens on Earth Day is conservative Christians cry out against those unlike them who have taken up this worthy banner. Yes, many environmentalists probably worship the created more than the creator. But, why do we insist on condemning the day because they have taken leadership on that which we've neglected? Why is it wrong to care about the good stewardship of our planet? Surely there are limitations to our abilities, and God is always Sovereign, but can we not labor with God as he blessed us to do in the garden, free from all anxiety of what may ultimately result environmentally?

Why not reassert God's design that His chosen ones should lead in caring for God's work which He labored for six days to bless us with dominion over? Why must we insist on polluting it spiritually with anger and frustration? Can we not join where we can in this endeavor and reclaim it, thereby realigning it to its proper focus? Why do we not redeem this day and turn attention to what God would like - a day of special remembrance for this most noble creation which is a joy and blessing to us?

We also often forget the salvific power that our earth can project for Christ.

Psalm 19:1 The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Jesus Himself tells us that even if his disciples are silenced, the "rocks will cry out". (Luke 19:40) That's right - God's creation relays the gospel to mankind! Even if we are silenced, God's creation will still declare the glory of God and call mankind to worship Him. Why then not work on preserving what Jesus Himself told us is a witness to Him? What a way for those of us not gifted evangelically to participate in the story He is unfolding amongst us, while our work of preservation helps that message continue to be heard?

Why then do we celebrate this only one day? Why not an entire week celebrating the creation story? Every day could pattern one of God's day of creation. What an act of thankfulness that would be!

So, celebrate Earth Day with me today, and thank the creator for blessing us with this gift of caring for His work! May we preserve the majesty and power of His creation, thereby assisting Christ as He draws people to Himself through the awe and wonder of such beauty!

Ministries of Condemnation

<sup>II Corinthians 3

1</sup>Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, like some people, letters of recommendation to you or from you? ²You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. ³You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.

The Glory of the New Covenant

⁷Now if the ministry that brought death, which was engraved in letters on stone, came with glory, so that the Israelites could not look steadily at the face of Moses because of its glory, fading though it was, ⁸will not the ministry of the Spirit be even more glorious? ⁹If the ministry that condemns men is glorious, how much more glorious is the ministry that brings righteousness! ¹⁰For what was glorious has no glory now in comparison with the surpassing glory. ¹¹And if what was fading away came with glory, how much greater is the glory of that which lasts!

This is just an excellent passage on what real ministry is. Real ministry is one that focuses on the heart and spirit within people, not on the letter of the law. It isn't about building something that people will praise you for. Verse 3 tells us its not about control - "our letter of recommendation" is not the signature of our ministry - it is the quality of the heart produced in people. It is the people themselves - they are the fruit! And the fruit isn't how well they measure up to God's standard - "a city on a shining hill - set apart" mindset!

How do you recognize the real ministry of the new covenant? You recognize it by the fruits it produces! Seems so simple, yet it is profound how blind we are to it. Too many times, Christians think "we're going to produce good people that obey God's commands" more than "we're going to produce people with hearts that reflect the fruits of the spirit" - or - "let's pass laws that enforce God's law".

We sell ourselves so short on the glory God could produce in our areas of influence (ministry) by focusing on the law and standards, and miss out on the overwhelming joy that the covenant of grace produces! Just think - in the old covenant, the people of Israel couldn't look at the face of Moses and he had to cover his face - yet the covenant of grace enables an even brighter and stronger ministry! The law is there to condemn, but grace is more glorious than the reflection of God's face on a man! In fact, that old ministry of condemnation is not even glorious anymore. God doesn't reward it! Verse 6 tells us that it KILLS now that we're under grace!

So if your life and efforts (ministry) have turned to one of control and legal standards, GET RID OF IT! God will not reward it! It will kill those to which you're trying to minister and it is not glorifying to God!

Bad Company and Good Character

Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God—I say this to your shame.

I Corinthians 15:33-34

Let me break this down for you in modern, American vernacular.

Hey, dummy! Being around bad company damages your spirit. Wake up! You're picking up their bad habits and attitudes! Some people have no idea how to act the right way - you should know better than to think everyone does!

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Oftentimes, I think we forget how critical it is to be surrounded by positive influences in our lives. And, I think we forget that we need to protect ourselves from negative influences. This is not an argument for separation from all negative influences, for we certainly must face them at times - we live in a broken world after all.

But it is a reminder to be on your guard. Inspect your heart. Do you find yourself growing negative or cold? That's coming from somewhere - most likely a negative influence in your life. Is it causing more damage to you than you are seeing positive fruit in the others from your involvement? Perhaps it is time to minimize or remove that influence.

And let's not be fooled - these negative influences often come from areas we least expect. Groups of friends, certain family members, church groups, coworkers, clubs, organizations. Don't get sucked into the negativity. Stay above it, or remove it from your life and avoid it if necessary.

And you'll notice that the concepts above are not limited to people that aren't Christians. It includes Christians. Bad company. There are many Christians who do not know God or his ways. We all have our weaknesses. Ask yourself - "Am I one of those in certain circumstances?"

If there truly is a reason you must interact with "bad company", consider that you must prepare yourself for it and do some damage control after interacting with it. If it continually negatively impacts you, you may need to perform some spiritual surgery and remove it from your life so as not to impede your spiritual growth.