Who owns her property?

On the east side of Indianapolis, on the northwest intersection of German Church Rd and Washington is a little farmhouse that has been there since I remember. A little old lady inhabits the two-story, yellow farmhouse reminiscent of the 1930's. Of course I assume she's always lived there as she's the only one I can ever remember seeing out in the yard cutting the grass or trimming the hedges, which were her normal activities as I'd drive by on my way to or from school, basketball, or a friends' house.

When I was a kid she was on the outskirts of development. Across Washington Street was an open grassy, overgrown area. Across German Church Road was the church that has been there for over a hundred years. No doubt she built her house right across from it. Behind her has always been the cemetery, whose quiet inhabitants are no longer caught up in the hustle and bustle that now surrounds them.

Today she is surrounded by the expanses of the city. There's a Walmart, Sam's club, Steak n Shake, and chains of small businesses across the street. Just down the road is a Meijer, the land on which it sits bought from my classmate's father that owned its previous inhabitant - a driving range. A busline runs right in front of her house, 15 yards from a five lane road. People walk across her lawn to get to their megastore destination, leaving trash and refuse in their wake.

As a young man it was easy getting through that intersection. In fact, just south of it was the stretch of road on which my friends and I would test the upper limits of our cars' speedometers. We'd help the developers carve out the roads they were constructing for the expanding subdivisions by mudding through them in trucks. A few years ago our landscaper told me our subdivision was the area he used to hunt raccoons in.

Things have changed as we've pushed out and gobbled up green space in our pursuit of the American dream. It now takes a lot more time to get through that intersection after work. The southbound German Church lane can be backed up half way to 10th Street. There's only one lane really to speak of, and it never used to be possible to get around the person turning left unless they were really far over.

That all started changing a few years ago. A major road project to beautify Washington Street was commenced, widening the street in the process. They rebuilt the intersection. Boy was it painful driving through the Meijer stoplight for those months! Yet we took that extra few minutes out of our day out of respect for the construction crew so that they could accomplish their work.

Something else changed too. They started trying to widen German Church Rd and squeeze more space for cars. You can now get two cars through there, juuust for the first few carlengths. AND there's now a divider line to make two lanes.

I started seeing the little yellow house's elderly inhabitant more. These days she isn't always her normal, peaceful self out trimming hedges, planting flowers, or cutting the grass. There is sometimes anger in her appearance as I drive by and she's in conversation with workers on her lawn, just "doing their job". I have seen this many times now. She's clearly not on board with what's going on.

The construction crews use her driveway to turn around all the time. It's been recently paved - perhaps it was a deal they made with each other.

Lately I think they've figured it out. I usually see what I consider to be a "handler" out there talking to her, while other workers just keep at "their job". Good strategy, as the unsuspecting and unfortunate first few workers probably missed deadlines or couldn't work due to the distraction by this lady desperately defending their property. Those poor workers probably had no idea of what they were doing to her!

Today I drove by and she was out there again, giving the "handler" a piece of her mind. There were workers all over her property drawing lines for this and that. A while back they dug up her yard to put in a sewer system, presumably so that those who had decided to move in areas her lawn connected to the city could have the services they wanted.

I've never talked to this lady, but I wonder what she's been through. No doubt the thousands of people that want to be able to travel with greater ease, have the convenience of city utilities, and walk across her lawn to get where they want to go are pressuring to get more of her property for their sake. No doubt she's been up against a modern day Goliath.

Yet its clear to me that the infringement on her property - even just a liiiiiiitle bit - is something she does not believe is beneficial to her. I'm not sure, but no doubt she's been offered money for the property. No doubt she's gotten fun little letters in the mail from this or that person in this or that office via this or that attorney. No doubt government bureaucrats have spent plenty of time figuring out how they can wrest control of more of her property from her so the people that vote for them will get their conveniences. Surely that's not what they're thinking, but that's what they're doing.

Yet there she stands. Every time somebody is busting up her property she is on them like a hawk.

Reminds me of the move "Up".




I think they're putting in a sidewalk now, and I could tell by the look on her face this morning she doesn't like that one bit.

How much of your property should be allowed to be taken from you so that everyone else can travel with more convenience? Is how long I sit in traffic a matter of life and death? If it is, did I impose that on myself by my Is it a matter of convenience and selfish desire of the many at the expense of the few? What percentage of people should determine when we can take from others for our own convenience?

Is the property theirs? Is it theirs on our terms?

Is it ok for me to take from others for my own convenience? What about a large group of peoples' convenience?

I don't like the situation. Granted I'm making some assumptions based on what I've observed in terms of personal interactions and what I've seen go on. Perhaps they could take her property entirely but have refrained. Perhaps she's just overly controlling about something she's agreed to in terms of her property use. I don't see that. Why not just move?

I'd much rather be a part of a society where the many cherish the sanctity of an individual and their happiness so much that - even though it inconvenience them - they will not confiscate others' property through the legal system. Lurking behind that concept is the premise that the strong can just plow over the weak and take from them as long as they make a law to allow it.

Yet they miss the bigger picture. THEY are the ones that have moved into an area they desired - no DEMANDED - to have certain expectations of travel and amenities so much that they are willing to FORCE others give up their property so they can get them - NOW.

I am going to take a bit of your front lawn so that instead of respecting what is yours, I can cease walking across it and getting my feet muddy and walk across it in a way that keeps me cleaner more quickly.

I am going to take a little bit more of your lawn so that I don't have to sit at a stoplight a little longer. I have a right to convenient and speedy travel from my house, even though you were here when I built it and its my fault I picked my location without thinking about the future.

I am going to force you to put something in your yard so that I can have better sewers, gas lines, and less water in the street I drive on. Nevermind it wasn't that way when I bought my property.

It's ok for me to do this to you because there are a bunch of people who feel the same way.

In reality there's not much you can do about it if you're the weak in this situation. Sure, you can "fight city hall", but unless you have an endless pile of money - you're not going to do much of anything. It is nothing for "city hall" to have a few attorneys that would cost anyone else thousands of dollars to just sit on you, answer every response you can come up with, dig through statutes to drum up something they can use to get what they want from you, and make your life miserable by miring you in legal battles.

In reality you are going to spend a ton of money getting a fair price or trying to hold onto what is yours that will ultimately result in less in your pocket than if you'd just taken a lowball to begin with. That or you'll spend a ton and get nothing. We've passed a law that says were allowed to do this - it has to be right - it is the law, right?

I have half a mind to stop by and introduce myself next time I see her. I wonder what her story is. I wonder what she's been through.

Tuxedo t-Shirts are the secret to 10 years of marriage

Almost 10 years ago Amber and I were on the eve of our wedding. We were engaged - still single technically, but not quite. We had our rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.

I had taken the day off work to finish up the odds and ends of some things for the honeymoon and wedding. I don't remember being terribly busy or stressed about it.

The evening came and it was time for the rehearsal at the church. It seemed surreal now that I reflect on it. I remember the sanctuary being dark, almost candle lit. I remember a fairly jovial feel to it. Life's meant to be enjoyed not trudged through after all!

I wore all black and a black tuxedo t-shirt mostly as a pun in "practice" for the real tux at the wedding. Everything else was a rehearsal, why not the wardrobe? It was also in part to mark the passing of an old life and the coming of a new one - both happening at the same time, yet to be finally transitioned the next day.

I don't remember much about the actual practice. I think the men and ladies stayed mostly in their own circles - seems to happen that way I've noticed in other weddings and rehearsals too. Ironic, huh? I do remember we didn't have the musicians there for the practice.

I recall feeling like it was an out of body experience the whole evening. It was like I was watching myself get married and observing this lovely young lady I was going to pledge the rest of my life too bounce around the room and grace me with her presence. Surreal.

The look on my mom's face said it all when I was practicing descending the stairs with Amber on my arm after having just been pronounced man and wife. The pastor did this without actually saying it of course - that was reserved for when it was real. There were tears in mom's eyes, tears of joy - she was watching her son grow up and leave her.

The rehearsal dinner was wonderful. My parents had a lady in the church make the food - it was great - especially the desert tray which I remember. The room was nicely decorated. It felt a little awkward sitting there, especially when mom started tinkling on the glasses to get us to kiss.

I remember there being some powerpoints of us growing up.

What I remember most was that I couldn't sleep that night. I was up until about 3 or 4 AM. It wasn't that I was nervous or anxious or excited. I think the best word I can use to describe it is that I was feeling the immense gravity about what I was about to undertake. I was embarking on a mission - a mission to love one woman as best I could for the rest of my life. Period. After a while I decided to write Amber a letter. I remember sitting there on that couch in my apartment and penning it. She still has it.

Amber, I love you. Here's to another 10 years, and then another 10, and then another 10, and then another 50.

I'm still on that mission.

AT THE HOSPTIAL: LIVE UPDATES

Hello, blog readers! I am blogging live from the hospital with Nathan as my guest blogger. If anyone is awake out there, you can feel free to check out my blog for updates throughout my hospital visit.

I was having contractions at home so we were sent to the hospital around 10pm for observation. I was dilated to 3cm when I arrived. They made me walk two 40-minute rounds which felt like a marathon for me.

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This is Nathan - it's 2:11 AM. Amber just got her epidural. She's at 4 cm.

Hugging a Fan

Foolproofing My Life

Do you have any consistently-difficult relationships in your life? You know, a relationship that just never seems to be "right" no matter how hard you try? The more you try to help and the closer you draw to them, the more you get hurt? This person (or people) keeps doing the same thing over and over again, time after time, year after year, and no matter how much you try to get them to see it or "help" them get it right, they just keep at it, and you keep getting hurt?

Well, you may have a fool in your life. Shoot - you may be the fool in your OWN life!

Over the last year, God put me in several relationships like this. I never knew why these relationships were difficult. They were always awkward at best, and downright toxic at their worst. They just seemed like constant work - and the harder I worked at helping or drawing close to them, the more I got hurt. Didn't matter what I did for them or how I approached the problem - I always ended up getting hurt, feeling like I was hit by a train out of nowhere - then made to feel like I was the one at fault - in spite of there being no impression by God that I had indeed done something wrong.

Things always seemed to get turned around on me. In "Christian love", I would address certain areas of weakness with these individuals, find myself covering for it (to "help" them of course), and then find myself on the defensive getting attacked for bringing it up. I was paying the price for their decisions and didn't know it, all the while thinking I was helping them. It was like this huge, stronghold of power that could not be confronted - and must be defended at all costs - striking down anything that would threaten it.

Several weeks ago a dangerous situation popped up where one of these difficult relationship reared its ugly head once again, and I reached out to a friend for advice on dealing with it. He said "It sounds like you're dealing with a fool", and recommended reading a book called "Foolproofing Your Life".

Well, he was right on. After reading that book, several of those relationships made sense. It was the first time I'd ever thought of another person really being a fool. I was dealing with foolishness. Foolishness is seen when a person repeats a pattern of behavior for a long time that won't change, and when confronted defends it. They are not correctable. Foolishness is especially hard to accept when the role this person has in your life is supposed to be one of authority or have respect.

The book likens drawing close to help a genuine fool to hugging a fan. The closer you embrace the fan, the more the fan blades chop you up and hurt you. Hugging a fan is foolishness in itself!

When fools are confronted about their foolish behavior, they refuse to address it and defend it, continuing the problem. They often turn it around on you and make you feel bad for bringing it up. In the fool's worldview, they are right - you are wrong - and anything that threatens them must be destroyed. They shut their ears, and the fan blades whine higher and higher - chopping you up. You become the problem because you are fundamentally threatening their position in their own life. The fan blades tear at you. Their destructive behavior continues on and on, time after time, year after year, and the fool goes on about their life none the wiser - failing to see the carnage about them. Eventually, the fan is left spinning away on its own power, with those who drew near left chopped up and wounded.

How I wish I'd read this many years ago! It would have saved me much heartache! It also would have revealed the foolishness in my own life in how I was attempting to "help" these fools!

For whatever reason, God saw fit to bring several of these relationships into my own life over the past year. At the time I was in the mix of those relationships, I thought I was there to help them. My role was to somehow serve them, save them and be strong where they were weak. If I could just get them to see what it is everyone else outside of them sees, they would adjust their behavior and have a joyful life and see success.

But I was so wrong in trying to help in this manner. The problem with this type of foolishness is that it ends up ensnaring and controlling you. You end up covering for it. Instead of the fool paying the consequences for their actions, you end up stepping in the way and paying the price. You then enable the fool to continue their behavior since it doesn't affect them.

The fool keeps you locked in their control by turning the situation around on you. Subtle manipulation and deception come into play, orchestrated by the fool. A little spin here, a little spin there - a forgotten conversation here, a play on words there, a mischaracterization of this there. Over time the fool gets very good at this because this is how they must prop up their world. The truth threatens them. Since they are number one in their life (their agenda, their desires), nothing must threaten them, or they will no longer be number one. You are really just a tool to them in accomplishing their ends.

I didn't realize that it was foolishness to try and help a hardened fool, that somehow it was my responsibility to see the foolishness changed. No! It was God's! God is the only one who can change a fool like that. By drawing near and giving help to the fool, you end up enabling the fool. The answer is to put up boundaries and limit exposure to the fool. The fool isn't for you - they are for themselves - and they will use you up and suck you dry to feed their foolishness.

So, I'm much wiser now that I have learned to identify foolishness. I'm much wiser for learning to deal with it the right way. I'm much happier now that I've learned it is ok to separate from fools for your own protection. I've learned it is not my responsibility to change a fool's heart, but God's.

I'm so thankful that God allowed me to see my naivity in dealing with fools!

Earth Week?

Genesis 1
And God blessed them. And God said to them,^S)">(S) "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth." ²⁹And God said, "Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit.^T)">(T) You shall have them for food. ³⁰And^U)">(U) to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food." And it was so. ³¹^V)">(V) And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.

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Today is Earth Day. God blessed us by giving us dominion over this planet on which we live, and all living things. We are charged with caring for it. For tending this fallen garden. For redeeming what once was.

You'll notice God did this in His perfectly-designed plan for man. Not after the fall when sin had entered and corrupted things. Beforehand. That means it is a good and perfect thing to do, tending this spherical garden that orbits our sun.

I believe this is something Christians, especially more conservative and traditional ones, have forsaken. Yes, we love the earth. Yes, we acknowledge that we are in charge of it. But our actions show little care for it.

What usually happens on Earth Day is conservative Christians cry out against those unlike them who have taken up this worthy banner. Yes, many environmentalists probably worship the created more than the creator. But, why do we insist on condemning the day because they have taken leadership on that which we've neglected? Why is it wrong to care about the good stewardship of our planet? Surely there are limitations to our abilities, and God is always Sovereign, but can we not labor with God as he blessed us to do in the garden, free from all anxiety of what may ultimately result environmentally?

Why not reassert God's design that His chosen ones should lead in caring for God's work which He labored for six days to bless us with dominion over? Why must we insist on polluting it spiritually with anger and frustration? Can we not join where we can in this endeavor and reclaim it, thereby realigning it to its proper focus? Why do we not redeem this day and turn attention to what God would like - a day of special remembrance for this most noble creation which is a joy and blessing to us?

We also often forget the salvific power that our earth can project for Christ.

Psalm 19:1 The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Jesus Himself tells us that even if his disciples are silenced, the "rocks will cry out". (Luke 19:40) That's right - God's creation relays the gospel to mankind! Even if we are silenced, God's creation will still declare the glory of God and call mankind to worship Him. Why then not work on preserving what Jesus Himself told us is a witness to Him? What a way for those of us not gifted evangelically to participate in the story He is unfolding amongst us, while our work of preservation helps that message continue to be heard?

Why then do we celebrate this only one day? Why not an entire week celebrating the creation story? Every day could pattern one of God's day of creation. What an act of thankfulness that would be!

So, celebrate Earth Day with me today, and thank the creator for blessing us with this gift of caring for His work! May we preserve the majesty and power of His creation, thereby assisting Christ as He draws people to Himself through the awe and wonder of such beauty!

Ministries of Condemnation

<sup>II Corinthians 3

1</sup>Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, like some people, letters of recommendation to you or from you? ²You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. ³You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.

The Glory of the New Covenant

⁷Now if the ministry that brought death, which was engraved in letters on stone, came with glory, so that the Israelites could not look steadily at the face of Moses because of its glory, fading though it was, ⁸will not the ministry of the Spirit be even more glorious? ⁹If the ministry that condemns men is glorious, how much more glorious is the ministry that brings righteousness! ¹⁰For what was glorious has no glory now in comparison with the surpassing glory. ¹¹And if what was fading away came with glory, how much greater is the glory of that which lasts!

This is just an excellent passage on what real ministry is. Real ministry is one that focuses on the heart and spirit within people, not on the letter of the law. It isn't about building something that people will praise you for. Verse 3 tells us its not about control - "our letter of recommendation" is not the signature of our ministry - it is the quality of the heart produced in people. It is the people themselves - they are the fruit! And the fruit isn't how well they measure up to God's standard - "a city on a shining hill - set apart" mindset!

How do you recognize the real ministry of the new covenant? You recognize it by the fruits it produces! Seems so simple, yet it is profound how blind we are to it. Too many times, Christians think "we're going to produce good people that obey God's commands" more than "we're going to produce people with hearts that reflect the fruits of the spirit" - or - "let's pass laws that enforce God's law".

We sell ourselves so short on the glory God could produce in our areas of influence (ministry) by focusing on the law and standards, and miss out on the overwhelming joy that the covenant of grace produces! Just think - in the old covenant, the people of Israel couldn't look at the face of Moses and he had to cover his face - yet the covenant of grace enables an even brighter and stronger ministry! The law is there to condemn, but grace is more glorious than the reflection of God's face on a man! In fact, that old ministry of condemnation is not even glorious anymore. God doesn't reward it! Verse 6 tells us that it KILLS now that we're under grace!

So if your life and efforts (ministry) have turned to one of control and legal standards, GET RID OF IT! God will not reward it! It will kill those to which you're trying to minister and it is not glorifying to God!

Bad Company and Good Character

Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God—I say this to your shame.

I Corinthians 15:33-34

Let me break this down for you in modern, American vernacular.

Hey, dummy! Being around bad company damages your spirit. Wake up! You're picking up their bad habits and attitudes! Some people have no idea how to act the right way - you should know better than to think everyone does!

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Oftentimes, I think we forget how critical it is to be surrounded by positive influences in our lives. And, I think we forget that we need to protect ourselves from negative influences. This is not an argument for separation from all negative influences, for we certainly must face them at times - we live in a broken world after all.

But it is a reminder to be on your guard. Inspect your heart. Do you find yourself growing negative or cold? That's coming from somewhere - most likely a negative influence in your life. Is it causing more damage to you than you are seeing positive fruit in the others from your involvement? Perhaps it is time to minimize or remove that influence.

And let's not be fooled - these negative influences often come from areas we least expect. Groups of friends, certain family members, church groups, coworkers, clubs, organizations. Don't get sucked into the negativity. Stay above it, or remove it from your life and avoid it if necessary.

And you'll notice that the concepts above are not limited to people that aren't Christians. It includes Christians. Bad company. There are many Christians who do not know God or his ways. We all have our weaknesses. Ask yourself - "Am I one of those in certain circumstances?"

If there truly is a reason you must interact with "bad company", consider that you must prepare yourself for it and do some damage control after interacting with it. If it continually negatively impacts you, you may need to perform some spiritual surgery and remove it from your life so as not to impede your spiritual growth.