Tuxedo t-Shirts are the secret to 10 years of marriage

Almost 10 years ago Amber and I were on the eve of our wedding. We were engaged - still single technically, but not quite. We had our rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.

I had taken the day off work to finish up the odds and ends of some things for the honeymoon and wedding. I don't remember being terribly busy or stressed about it.

The evening came and it was time for the rehearsal at the church. It seemed surreal now that I reflect on it. I remember the sanctuary being dark, almost candle lit. I remember a fairly jovial feel to it. Life's meant to be enjoyed not trudged through after all!

I wore all black and a black tuxedo t-shirt mostly as a pun in "practice" for the real tux at the wedding. Everything else was a rehearsal, why not the wardrobe? It was also in part to mark the passing of an old life and the coming of a new one - both happening at the same time, yet to be finally transitioned the next day.

I don't remember much about the actual practice. I think the men and ladies stayed mostly in their own circles - seems to happen that way I've noticed in other weddings and rehearsals too. Ironic, huh? I do remember we didn't have the musicians there for the practice.

I recall feeling like it was an out of body experience the whole evening. It was like I was watching myself get married and observing this lovely young lady I was going to pledge the rest of my life too bounce around the room and grace me with her presence. Surreal.

The look on my mom's face said it all when I was practicing descending the stairs with Amber on my arm after having just been pronounced man and wife. The pastor did this without actually saying it of course - that was reserved for when it was real. There were tears in mom's eyes, tears of joy - she was watching her son grow up and leave her.

The rehearsal dinner was wonderful. My parents had a lady in the church make the food - it was great - especially the desert tray which I remember. The room was nicely decorated. It felt a little awkward sitting there, especially when mom started tinkling on the glasses to get us to kiss.

I remember there being some powerpoints of us growing up.

What I remember most was that I couldn't sleep that night. I was up until about 3 or 4 AM. It wasn't that I was nervous or anxious or excited. I think the best word I can use to describe it is that I was feeling the immense gravity about what I was about to undertake. I was embarking on a mission - a mission to love one woman as best I could for the rest of my life. Period. After a while I decided to write Amber a letter. I remember sitting there on that couch in my apartment and penning it. She still has it.

Amber, I love you. Here's to another 10 years, and then another 10, and then another 10, and then another 50.

I'm still on that mission.