Thursday, March 31, 2011

Who owns her property?




On the east side of Indianapolis, on the northwest intersection of German Church Rd and Washington is a little farmhouse that has been there since I remember. A little old lady inhabits the two-story, yellow farmhouse reminiscent of the 1930's. Of course I assume she's always lived there as she's the only one I can ever remember seeing out in the yard cutting the grass or trimming the hedges, which were her normal activities as I'd drive by on my way to or from school, basketball, or a friends' house.

When I was a kid she was on the outskirts of development. Across Washington Street was an open grassy, overgrown area. Across German Church Road was the church that has been there for over a hundred years. No doubt she built her house right across from it. Behind her has always been the cemetery, whose quiet inhabitants are no longer caught up in the hustle and bustle that now surrounds them.

Today she is surrounded by the expanses of the city. There's a Walmart, Sam's club, Steak n Shake, and chains of small businesses across the street. Just down the road is a Meijer, the land on which it sits bought from my classmate's father that owned its previous inhabitant - a driving range. A busline runs right in front of her house, 15 yards from a five lane road. People walk across her lawn to get to their megastore destination, leaving trash and refuse in their wake.

As a young man it was easy getting through that intersection. In fact, just south of it was the stretch of road on which my friends and I would test the upper limits of our cars' speedometers. We'd help the developers carve out the roads they were constructing for the expanding subdivisions by mudding through them in trucks. A few years ago our landscaper told me our subdivision was the area he used to hunt raccoons in.

Things have changed as we've pushed out and gobbled up green space in our pursuit of the American dream. It now takes a lot more time to get through that intersection after work. The southbound German Church lane can be backed up half way to 10th Street. There's only one lane really to speak of, and it never used to be possible to get around the person turning left unless they were really far over.

That all started changing a few years ago. A major road project to beautify Washington Street was commenced, widening the street in the process. They rebuilt the intersection. Boy was it painful driving through the Meijer stoplight for those months! Yet we took that extra few minutes out of our day out of respect for the construction crew so that they could accomplish their work.

Something else changed too. They started trying to widen German Church Rd and squeeze more space for cars. You can now get two cars through there, juuust for the first few carlengths. AND there's now a divider line to make two lanes.

I started seeing the little yellow house's elderly inhabitant more. These days she isn't always her normal, peaceful self out trimming hedges, planting flowers, or cutting the grass. There is sometimes anger in her appearance as I drive by and she's in conversation with workers on her lawn, just "doing their job". I have seen this many times now. She's clearly not on board with what's going on.

The construction crews use her driveway to turn around all the time. It's been recently paved - perhaps it was a deal they made with each other.

Lately I think they've figured it out. I usually see what I consider to be a "handler" out there talking to her, while other workers just keep at "their job". Good strategy, as the unsuspecting and unfortunate first few workers probably missed deadlines or couldn't work due to the distraction by this lady desperately defending their property. Those poor workers probably had no idea of what they were doing to her!

Today I drove by and she was out there again, giving the "handler" a piece of her mind. There were workers all over her property drawing lines for this and that. A while back they dug up her yard to put in a sewer system, presumably so that those who had decided to move in areas her lawn connected to the city could have the services they wanted.

I've never talked to this lady, but I wonder what she's been through. No doubt the thousands of people that want to be able to travel with greater ease, have the convenience of city utilities, and walk across her lawn to get where they want to go are pressuring to get more of her property for their sake. No doubt she's been up against a modern day Goliath.

Yet its clear to me that the infringement on her property - even just a liiiiiiitle bit - is something she does not believe is beneficial to her. I'm not sure, but no doubt she's been offered money for the property. No doubt she's gotten fun little letters in the mail from this or that person in this or that office via this or that attorney. No doubt government bureaucrats have spent plenty of time figuring out how they can wrest control of more of her property from her so the people that vote for them will get their conveniences. Surely that's not what they're thinking, but that's what they're doing.

Yet there she stands. Every time somebody is busting up her property she is on them like a hawk.

Reminds me of the move "Up".




I think they're putting in a sidewalk now, and I could tell by the look on her face this morning she doesn't like that one bit.

How much of your property should be allowed to be taken from you so that everyone else can travel with more convenience? Is how long I sit in traffic a matter of life and death? If it is, did I impose that on myself by my Is it a matter of convenience and selfish desire of the many at the expense of the few? What percentage of people should determine when we can take from others for our own convenience?

Is the property theirs? Is it theirs on our terms?

Is it ok for me to take from others for my own convenience? What about a large group of peoples' convenience?

I don't like the situation. Granted I'm making some assumptions based on what I've observed in terms of personal interactions and what I've seen go on. Perhaps they could take her property entirely but have refrained. Perhaps she's just overly controlling about something she's agreed to in terms of her property use. I don't see that. Why not just move?

I'd much rather be a part of a society where the many cherish the sanctity of an individual and their happiness so much that - even though it inconvenience them - they will not confiscate others' property through the legal system. Lurking behind that concept is the premise that the strong can just plow over the weak and take from them as long as they make a law to allow it.

Yet they miss the bigger picture. THEY are the ones that have moved into an area they desired - no DEMANDED - to have certain expectations of travel and amenities so much that they are willing to FORCE others give up their property so they can get them - NOW.

I am going to take a bit of your front lawn so that instead of respecting what is yours, I can cease walking across it and getting my feet muddy and walk across it in a way that keeps me cleaner more quickly.
I am going to take a little bit more of your lawn so that I don't have to sit at a stoplight a little longer. I have a right to convenient and speedy travel from my house, even though you were here when I built it and its my fault I picked my location without thinking about the future.
I am going to force you to put something in your yard so that I can have better sewers, gas lines, and less water in the street I drive on. Nevermind it wasn't that way when I bought my property.

It's ok for me to do this to you because there are a bunch of people who feel the same way.


In reality there's not much you can do about it if you're the weak in this situation. Sure, you can "fight city hall", but unless you have an endless pile of money - you're not going to do much of anything. It is nothing for "city hall" to have a few attorneys that would cost anyone else thousands of dollars to just sit on you, answer every response you can come up with, dig through statutes to drum up something they can use to get what they want from you, and make your life miserable by miring you in legal battles.

In reality you are going to spend a ton of money getting a fair price or trying to hold onto what is yours that will ultimately result in less in your pocket than if you'd just taken a lowball to begin with. That or you'll spend a ton and get nothing. We've passed a law that says were allowed to do this - it has to be right - it is the law, right?

I have half a mind to stop by and introduce myself next time I see her. I wonder what her story is. I wonder what she's been through.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Tuxedo t-Shirts are the secret to 10 years of marriage


Almost 10 years ago Amber and I were on the eve of our wedding. We were engaged - still single technically, but not quite. We had our rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.

I had taken the day off work to finish up the odds and ends of some things for the honeymoon and wedding. I don't remember being terribly busy or stressed about it.

The evening came and it was time for the rehearsal at the church. It seemed surreal now that I reflect on it. I remember the sanctuary being dark, almost candle lit. I remember a fairly jovial feel to it. Life's meant to be enjoyed not trudged through after all!

I wore all black and a black tuxedo t-shirt mostly as a pun in "practice" for the real tux at the wedding. Everything else was a rehearsal, why not the wardrobe? It was also in part to mark the passing of an old life and the coming of a new one - both happening at the same time, yet to be finally transitioned the next day.

I don't remember much about the actual practice. I think the men and ladies stayed mostly in their own circles - seems to happen that way I've noticed in other weddings and rehearsals too. Ironic, huh? I do remember we didn't have the musicians there for the practice.

I recall feeling like it was an out of body experience the whole evening. It was like I was watching myself get married and observing this lovely young lady I was going to pledge the rest of my life too bounce around the room and grace me with her presence. Surreal.

The look on my mom's face said it all when I was practicing descending the stairs with Amber on my arm after having just been pronounced man and wife. The pastor did this without actually saying it of course - that was reserved for when it was real. There were tears in mom's eyes, tears of joy - she was watching her son grow up and leave her.

The rehearsal dinner was wonderful. My parents had a lady in the church make the food - it was great - especially the desert tray which I remember. The room was nicely decorated. It felt a little awkward sitting there, especially when mom started tinkling on the glasses to get us to kiss.

I remember there being some powerpoints of us growing up.

What I remember most was that I couldn't sleep that night. I was up until about 3 or 4 AM. It wasn't that I was nervous or anxious or excited. I think the best word I can use to describe it is that I was feeling the immense gravity about what I was about to undertake. I was embarking on a mission - a mission to love one woman as best I could for the rest of my life. Period. After a while I decided to write Amber a letter. I remember sitting there on that couch in my apartment and penning it. She still has it.

Amber, I love you. Here's to another 10 years, and then another 10, and then another 10, and then another 50.

I'm still on that mission.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

AT THE HOSPTIAL: LIVE UPDATES

Hello, blog readers! I am blogging live from the hospital with Nathan as my guest blogger. If anyone is awake out there, you can feel free to check out my blog for updates throughout my hospital visit.

I was having contractions at home so we were sent to the hospital around 10pm for observation. I was dilated to 3cm when I arrived. They made me walk two 40-minute rounds which felt like a marathon for me.

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This is Nathan - it's 2:11 AM. Amber just got her epidural. She's at 4 cm.